Marriage 101

Ive been eager to blog this for over a week now, and am just finding the time. My spouse and I attended our first marriage conference a few weeks back. I wanted to share the 7 things on the list for men and 7 things on the list for women...in order to have a working/functional marriage: (we discussed these in the Sunday school class we attended the following day, so some of them have a few notes added to it)
MEN
1. MAKE SURE YOU ARE SAVED...when the man is following the Lord, the girl doesn't mind following and submitting to him.
2. STAY FILLED WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT...our preacher literally ask for this daily. Upon being saved and asking the Lord to come into your heart, the Holy Spirit is decended upon us. According to him, he asks the Spirit to continue to speak to him and fill him.
3. SET FREE FROM STRONGHOLDS...don't give footholds to the Devil for him to manipulate and take advantage of. Ask for freedom from these and for God to show your sin (obvious ones that affects many homes is porn, sexual addiction/deviancy, emotional relationships, etc)
4. BE INTIMATE...open communication with your spouse, date and persue your spouse, romance before sex, compliment her character more than her physical beauty, praise her publicly and privately.
5. BE A PROVIDER...this is emotionally and spiritually too. But from a financial standpoint, give her the freedom to stay at home with children (so try to live off of one income if possible). Money comes from the Lord and the talents He has given you, so lead the way on tithing and giving to the Lord.
6. BE HER PROTECTOR...physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
7. BE A LEADER IN ALL WAYS...the Lord calls men to lead.

WOMEN
1. LOVE THE LORD...spend time with him daily (finding time to do this can be hard between family and work, but it is essential)
2. LOVE/RESPECT YOUR HUSBAND...affirm him in public and never speak down of him to others.
3. PHYSICAL INTIMACY...as wives, we are our husband's only righteous outlet when it comes to this and sexual purity.
4. FINANCIAL ACCOUNTABILITY...be content with what you have & know your husband is working hard. Their point was that coveting and envying what others have puts burden on the man that he isn't doing enough.
5. MAKE YOUR HOME A HAVEN...the wife sets the atmosphere in the home...they talked about putting a filter on your internet to protect your kids and husband from inappropriate material, pray the fruits of the Spirit (found in Galations) over your house, and use your home as a point of ministry.
6. RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP...find things to do together with your spouse.
7. LOVE HIS FAMILY...as with all of our family, we are to love others with the love of the Lord.

A few other points to mention that was said at this conference: your spouse is not your enemy, so don't treat them that way. They are on your side and apart of the same team (since God's word says that 2 become 1 upon marriage)...Marriage is sacred, so we have to protect it and nourish it...Our spouse is supposed to be the most important part of the family dynamic and children should not be the center and focus of the house (think about this, how many marriages are defined by their children and surrounded by the kids...we see it all of the time)...As married couples, we are to show our children and the next generation how marriage was intended (God ordains marriage and intends to give us a helper...it is meant to be enjoyed--God didn't say to be miserable all the days of your life together)

Last but not least, I do realize it takes both parties working to make a marriage work...so if you are married, then please do your part. Afterall, we can't control the other person but we can encourage them and help them to be the best they can be.